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Writer's pictureThe Ace Mind

Coming OUT

Updated: Nov 1, 2021


So when you are LGBTQIA+ you probably have or will or need to come out at some point.

In this blog I'll tell a bit about my opinion, my experiences and ill try to give some tips.


My opinion

Personally I don't like the term coming out.

the fact that we sometimes really have to, and just the fact it even exists...

straight people don't have to because it is seen normal.

it upsets me when I hear people had the courage to come out and then get kicked out, or get therapy or are just simply not accepted for it.

as asexual, u will probably hear a lot that its a phase and that it will change when you get older.

but on the positive side, there are also lots of people who will understand and accept you.

and coming out makes you freer in many ways.

so even though it is annoying that you might need to come out because it's not seen as normal, it will help you, in the end, to be your true self and be free.


My Experiences

family,

So I don't think I was really closeted to my family, I am from the Netherlands a country who was one of the first to legalize gay marriage, there is still hate but legally you are saved.

my family also isn't religious and I do think that helps because that is a thing that won't hold them back.

my oldest sister came out when I was young so I saw how accepted it was in my family.

so to them, I have never been in the closet.

the only bad experience I have with telling my family is that they said I was too young and could not know {i was 17}.


to friends,

I do come out, although like 99% of my friends are queer too it still is scary sometimes because they might not understand asexuality.

my queer friends usually liked to get to understand the term and accepted me for it.

I did have a few friends who were a bit mean or still didn't understand and it got a bit awkward but. with friends, I also have good experiences.


classmates and teachers,

so for me, this is like a whole story. I've always been very sex-repulsed so secondary school

I got picked at a little cause I didn't understand sexual jokes.

now I'm at an Acting theater study.

the theater has sexual and nude themes a lot.

one classmate told me it could keep me from getting roles, or make me a worse actor the someone else.

but most classmates didn't really make a big deal of it and were not surprised either.

also, one classmate says he'll speak to me in a few years and that it will be changed then...

so you know some people will just not get it. but that is fine.

I came out to one or two teachers I think. but that was scary because I didn't know what they would say or think. if they would say the same as my classmate.


being out however gave me lots of freedom and inspiration so without it, my blog might not even have existed


Tips

1. make sure you'll be safe.

coming out might go great but it can also go very bad.

so you have to make sure you have a safety net. a place to go maybe if something goes wrong. make sure you have friends or people to go to for help if needed.

if it is too risky maybe don't or wait, safety is always important!!!!


If it is safe you can think about how you wanna come out here some tips for coming out!


2. A presentation

It is just a fact that most people do not know what asexuality really is!

so you could make a presentation about asexuality.

that way they don't just get a label but all information.

and you can be prepared so that it might be less scary.


3. Make a joke, or comment

if there is a conversation and u can easily make a joke or comment suggesting your ace.

it could be a very casual way to come out.

cause you can then tell them u are ace.


4. just straight up say it.

walk in the room and say it... maybe sit them all down.


5. Jump out of a closet

I just think this would be funny, I would love to jump out of a closet with my pride flag and then sing I'm coming out haha.

you might even scare them for a moment. seems like fun to me.


6. be creative

if you are a creative being, you might be able to use that.

if you like to write you can write a letter or write a story.

if you like to sing, sing a song about it.

if you like to draw, draw something about it.


7. Be patient

some people wanna understand but it takes time maybe you have to explain it multiple times.

if you explain it multiple times in different ways it will click eventually.


there are so many ways to come out.

just make sure you are safe, comfortable, may be prepared.

and mostly make sure to be your self because that is what it's about


I hope I helped some people with this.

I also like to hear what you think about coming out and what your experiences are.

and of course, if you have tips too?!


~The Ace Mind




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