In January, I told you all about the basics of asexuality I Quickly mentioned SAM {Split-Attraction-Model} and the fact that there are even more types of attraction than just sexual and romantic. In this blog, I want to go into a bit more detail about this topic.
Allo- sexual, or romantic, is a term I use in this blog. It means you do experience that attraction. So instead of saying non-Asexual, I use the term allosexual.
SAM
Let’s refresh your memories, what is the SAM:
SAM: Split Attraction Model, is a term often used by asexuals. It's a term used to describe when your romantic and sexual attraction differs from each other.
For most allosexual people, their romantic and sexual attraction intertwine, and therefore they don’t feel the need to use something like the SAM. However, many asexuals are alloromantic, and as many people think asexuality means not wanting relationships it can definitely help people understand a bit better, they do feel a romantic attraction.
However, there are also people who are Aromantic they don’t necessarily have to be asexual, and since they are regularly considered the same as asexuals the SAM can help in the same way it does for asexuals.
For example, I identify as Biromantic Asexual, meaning I feel Romantic attraction toward any gender but no sexual attraction at all toward anyone. This means I'm not looking for a sexual relationship, but a romantic one.
But you can also identify as aro-ace, homoro-ace- aro-homosexual, etc. any orientation bi, pan, poly, homo, hetero, etc. you can add romantic or sexual behind it and so u have the SAM.
can only asexuals or aromantics use SAM?
No, anyone can use the SAM, although it's mostly used by aces and aros. It is certainly possible for allos to use the SAM. I haven't seen many people use it, but I do have an example from someone I know.
A homosexual guy who feels sexual attraction only to other men, who does feel romantic attraction toward men and women. Could be Homosexual Biromantic.
Have you ever considered if maybe your romantic and sexual attraction differ?
Some people do not like SAM, why?
Firstly, it can simply be that someone doesn't find it necessary to use SAM, for example, I know many people who could be considered aroace who don’t use SAM because they intertwine for them.
Secondly, some people feel like SAM implies that there are just two types of attraction, while there are more than two. I can see where they are coming from, so to inform people I’d like to give some information about the other types of attractions.
Types of attraction
I want to share information about types of attraction for different reasons.
One, as said above, is that I want to show that there is more than two attraction type,
another is that I think it shows how deep love goes and how everyone has different needs.
I have autism, so I sometimes have trouble understanding feelings for myself or others.
Knowing the different types of attractions helps me understand better what I want and what I don’t and can help me communicate it with others.
There are so many types of attractions.
So let's start, most of us are aware of
Sexual attraction: the desire or being aroused to engage in sexual activity with someone, often through sexual intercourse.
And
Romantic Attraction: the desire to have romantic contact/interaction with someone. A connection that is not necessarily sexual or physical. It may show through handholding, showing love, or expressing affection.
Crush: being in love with someone, liking someone. Who you are not in a relationship with. Wanting a romantic and or sexual relationship.
But here are some other types:
sensual & Physical attraction: the desire to be physical with someone does not have to be sexual, but can out itself with wanting to hug, kiss, tickle, and other physical forms of physical affection
emotional attraction: feeling a connection to someone’s mind, personality, and spirit you appreciate someone for those things rather than just physical features. When you're emotionally attracted to someone, you seek a meaningful, secure, long-lasting bond.
Aesthetic Attraction: appreciating the appearance or beauty of someone’s appearance in a non-sexual or romantic way.
Intellectual attraction: a desire for connection based on intelligence
Platonic attraction: the desire to have a friendship or close relationship with someone. Most often in a non-romantic and nonsexual way.
Squish: a nonsexual and romantic type of crush, it's wanting to be in a close relationship with someone with no sexual component. Wanting a Platonic relationship.
There might be even more, I took a lot of time to research, but the above are the once I could grasp the best to explain to you all. I think these are the main ones.
At the bottom of this blog, I added some resources which I used for my research and thought could give you more insight as I keep it short in this blog, and you might want more information on it. Definitely check it out if you want to read more.
Why I wanted to write this blog
I personally think the SAM shows how deep love and connections can go, I wanted to make sure to also go over some other types of attraction we might not all be aware of.
I think being aware of what types of attractions exist can help a lot in defining a relationship you have with someone. Furthermore, I find consent a very important topic, knowing what someone wants or doesn't want in a relationship can help in any relationship whether you're sexual or not.
Thank you for reading this blog,
you are acesome.
Be sure to give this blog a like, comment,
or even share if you liked it.
I hope to see you back next time,
♤ The Ace Mind — Joëlle ♡
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*Blog Written by Joëlle AKA The Ace Mind
*I am not a professional, the things I write are pulled from my personal experiences or external resources.
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