In this blog I wanna talk about Aphobia and asexual exclusion. I already planned to write this blog but today it is the 17th of May, this is IDAHOT {International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia} or IDAHOBIT {International Day Against Homophobia Biphobia Intersexphobia and Transphobia}.
As you can see Aphobia/Acephobie is not included in this.
I support this day, but I feel like Aphobia should be included. maybe this blog will help you understand what phobia is and why there should be more attention to this.
because most people think asexuals do not deal with stuff that others deal with.
Aphobia
The A in LGBTQIA+ stand for Asexuality, Aromantic, and Agender.
there is a lot of debate about that.
Aphobia is the word for all 3 of those. so I feel there needs to be more awareness of this subject.
in this blog I will talk about Acephobia and Ace exclusion so it will be specific to asexuality.
I am thinking of making blogs about the other A's too but I am not aromantic or agender so I do not have experience with those phobias, I will need help with making blogs about that.
If you wanna help me with this please get in contact with me on any platform I will add those in the end of the blog.
Acephobia and Ace exclusion
when I talk about acephobia a lot of people get confused because they think that asexuals don't deal with stuff like phobia and exclusion.
so I tweeted a whole list on this but I feel like a blog about it might be a bit less chaotic.
so here we go.
Trigger warning, topics like rape and such are included in this list,
if this triggers you maybe don't read.
the list
1. People think the A stands for Ally.
I think I have talked about this a lot on my blog and socials.
People seem to think the A in LGBTQIA+ stand for Ally.
An ally however is someone who supports queers. so being an Ally is not an orientation.
The A stands for Asexual Aromantic and Agender.
all three of those are orientations.
the LGBTQIA+ is used for orientations so I don't understand why people wanna exclude Aces Aros an Agenders when they do wanna give a letter to people who do not have an orientation but just support the orientations in the term.
2. Exclusion from queer communities.
As said above people wanna exclude asexuals aromantics and agender from the LGBTQIA+ community/term.
I as an asexual personally have dealt with this many times.
thinking the LGBTQIA+ community fights for equality and thinking I am part of this.
I was in shock to find out people from this community want to exclude us and think our orientations are not real or are not part of their community.
3. Exclusion from queer-friendly sites.
A lot of queer-friendly sites do exclude asexuality aromantic and agender.
they don't list them in the list of who they support.
or do not give you options to add those orientations to your profile.
also a lot of asexuals identify with a romantic orientation just like aromantic. but almost no site gives you the option to chose a romantic orientation.
so, for example, I am biromantic asexual but I would have to choose between asexual and bisexual. If this is a dating site for example then I want people to know i am bi because it shows who I am interested in, but I also want them to know I am asexual because it shows the way I love.
4. exclusion from queer research.
In a lot of queer studies/researches about things like.
what queers have to deal with, asexuality is not included.
It is important that we are included because people think asexuality is not real.
so we need the proof.
plus it makes the studies/researches less accurate because they leave out whole orientations. who then can't complete their surveys.
5. It's seen as a mental disorder or health problem.
In many countries and by many doctors it is seen as a mental disorder or health problem.
many doctors do not see asexuality as a real thing.
A lot of doctors rather medicate it to fix it.
6. Some countries see asexuality as being Gay or a sin.
Some countries do not accept queers and they see asexuals as gays/queers.
these countries can have a death penalty for being gay or they aren't protected by the law.
in these countries, people often get disowned.
7. conversion therapy
Ace people do face this too,
and face the risk of being disowned by friends and family because of who they are.
8. Asexual Immigrants aren't taken serious.
immigrant may flight for things I called in 5, 6, and 7.
or they might flight from a forced marriage or such things.
but a lot of the time those asexual issues aren't seen as a big enough threat so they aren't allowed in.
9. corrective rape
People Sometimes rape asexuals to "fix" them.
10. hate comments
Asexuals deal with hate comments.
People can be very rude towards asexuals and say things like
"You just use asexuality as an excuse because nobody wants you"
"you are just too ugly to be fucked" ""
11. Discrimination.
Get denied things like jobs, rental homes.
12. people think aces don’t face oppression, harassment, and more .
People think aces do not deal with those things, but if that was the case I was not making this list and probably not even my blog/site because it would not have been needed.
but you can read above how aces really do deal with this.
13. asexuals deal with other phobias too
asexuals can be homo-, pan-, or bi-romantic, or they can be transgender or any queer orientation on top of asexuality. so besides all those things above they also may deal with any other queerphobia.
14. some issues that might be smaller but still a problem.
1. coming out is hard for asexuals because people don't understand it or have misinformation.
if you say you are gay most people will know what it is.
if you say you are asexual you always have to explain or correct.
In any case of coming out, it is hard because it has a lot of risk, I am not disregarding that.
2. dating is hard because most people do not wanna date asexuals because sex is important to them.
Some resources.
you can find more info on Aphobia/Acephobia here:
some resources on asexuality in general:
please if you see I made a mistake do not hesitate to tell me.
I am a human who makes mistakes and learns things every day.
coming up for a community is hard because you have to think about a lot and sometimes you forget to be aware of something.
so if you wanna contact me on a mistake or wanna help me write about other phobias please let me know. you can contact me anywhere listed below!
so aphobia/acephobia is a real thing I tried to add aro and agender where I know they deal with too. I hope I informed you all on this subject.
I do not wanna force us into this day, I just wanted to share why I feel we need to be.
Thank you for reading this blog,
you are acesome.
I hope to see you back next time
♤♡The Ace Mind
*I am not a professional.
The things I write are out of personal experience, or resources.
*If you wanna be part of my blog in any way:
{send a question, a story, or anything else}
you can contact me here:
*If I made a mistake in a blog post please let me know so I can change it.